49 White

5 December 2016

Part way through this morning I realized that although Cheryl is the impulsive one, I am quite impatient when I have figured out the direction I want to go. I am certainly impatient to be not a patient.
I understand now that cutting down on the morphine has to be a long term goal and not easily accomplished. Encouraged by early success I speeded up the process too much and suffered the consequences.

This need to be patient was echoed by advice from friends throughout the day and I thank you all for your feedback. You will be happy to know that today I drank 0.5 ml of morphine to make up for the deficit in my dosing and within 15 minutes - I was feeling better. Such a small amount; hardly bigger than a raindrop but what an amazing change.



The year 2016 has not been a good one for me in some ways and with the end of the year  approaching I think I was in a hurry to be well. It is silly now because I will be well when it's the right time, however long that takes.

I do still need supervision though because I confess that this afternoon I couldn't resist the lure of the snowblower sitting lonely and neglected in the garage. Cheryl was out with a friend snowshoeing so I took the machine out for a little exercise to move the snow the township plow had dumped at the end of the driveway. I wrapped up well and took it slowly and you will be glad to know that there weren't any negative effects and the feeling of accomplishment was worth the small effort.